Google’s new Pixel ads severely underestimate how perfect dogs are

It doesn’t take a genius to see that Google’s latest Pixel ads miss the mark. The production is fine, sure. The narrator? Great. The lighting and art style? No problem at all! But across eight different scenarios, they somehow argue that the Pixel (the phone) is better than Pixel (the dog). This is objectively wrong.

Look, the Pixel is great. Its astrophotography mode, Night Sight, long lasting adaptive battery, Titan M security chip, Google-intertwined software, voice recoding app, and car crash detection are all great features, but honestly it feels a bit harsh to harsh on poor little Pixel for not having these features. I mean you can’t blame him, right?

What I’m saying here is that no matter how great the Pixel is, Pixel is better. I find “exploring planet pillow” to actually be more impressive than Pixel’s astrophotography mode. And frankly I don’t care if Pixel “refuses to use his turn signals” while driving. I would feel much safer with Pixel (the dog) driving the car than having some silly Pixel software feature that only once in a blue moon helps me out by calling emergency services. Pixel (the dog) would probably prevent me from ever needing emergency services in the first place, because Pixel is perfect — at being a dog, at driving, and otherwise.

And yeah, we see you trying to cover for your blatant disregard for the perfection for Pixel (the dog) by encouraging us to all go out and adopt a dog through Best Friends.

While Pixel the dog may not be super high tech, dogs are still great to have around for a snuggle. So, check out all the cute pups available for adoption from our friends at Best Friends Animal Society² : https://bestfriends.org/google-pixel

We see that vain attempt at saving face for what it is, though — you really do think Pixel (the phone) is better than Pixel (the dog). You can’t have all of those people (whom are correct) getting onto you for disregarding Pixel’s lack of flaws. Maybe instead of telling people to adopt dogs to cover for your incorrectness, you should have taken into account the fact that you were wrong about dogs in the first place.

I hope Google makes a more compelling argument (and by that I mean a comparison to something that isn’t perfect, say… a smartphone made by another company?) when they announce the forthcoming Google Pixel 4a (5G) and Pixel 5 at its Launch Night In event on September 30th.

Alternative headline: Google comes out as staunchly anti-dog in new Pixel ads